True Thanksgiving...

Long before the Pilgrims landed in America in 1620, there was a band of Biblical Pilgrims called Israelites who left a land of bondage headed for a promised land where they could worship their God in truth and not be forced to worship Idols and false gods.  These Pilgrims had the real first Thanksgiving.

Leviticus 7:11-15 (KJV)

 11And this is the law of the sacrifice of peace offerings, which he shall offer unto the LORD.

 12If he offer it for a thanksgiving, then he shall offer with the sacrifice of thanksgivingunleavened cakes mingled with oil, and unleavened wafers anointed with oil, and cakes mingled with oil, of fine flour, fried.

 13Besides the cakes, he shall offer for his offering leavened bread with the sacrifice ofthanksgiving of his peace offerings.

 14And of it he shall offer one out of the whole oblation for an heave offering unto the LORD, and it shall be the priest's that sprinkleth the blood of the peace offerings.

 15And the flesh of the sacrifice of his peace offerings for thanksgiving shall be eaten the same day that it is offered; he shall not leave any of it until the morning.

Thanksgiving means - the offering of thanks, especially for gifts received.  Scripture empasises the importance of giving thanks to God for all His gifts and works both as an expression of our dependance ON Him and our gratitude TO Him.

Jonah 2:9  (KJV)

 9But I will sacrifice unto thee with the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay that that I have vowed. Salvation is of the LORD.

In the Bible, thanksgiving is linked with praise:

Psalm 69:30  (KJV)

 30I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify him with thanksgiving.

1 Chronicles 16:4 KJV)

 4And he appointed certain of the Levites to minister before the ark of the LORD, and to record, and to thank and praise the LORD God of Israel:

Psalms 100:4  (KJV)

4Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

Psalm 50:14 (KJV)

 14Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the most High:

We have so much to be thankful for - everyday.  If we take the limits off God, we are going to see Him do even greater things than we ever have. 

We have at least 3 things to be thankful for:

#1) Common blessings - (things we take for granted such as the sunrise, sunset, life, hearing, seeing, feeling).

#2) Special blessings - (breath of life, family, friends,)

#3) The greatest blessing of all - Jesus Christ who gave His life that we might be saved and spend eternity with Him.

We have a duty to offer thanksgiving to God (everyday)

1 Timothy 4:3-4 (KJV)

 3Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.   4For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving:

Psalm 107:8-9 (KJV)

 8Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!

 9For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.

Psalm 147:7-9 (KJV)

 7Sing unto the LORD with thanksgiving; sing praise upon the harp unto our God:

 8Who covereth the heaven with clouds, who prepareth rain for the earth, who maketh grass to grow upon the mountains.  9He giveth to the beast his food, and to the young ravens which cry.

So many times we ask, take and forget!

Like the story of the 10 lepers in Luke 17.  Out of the 10 only 1 returned to thank Him for their healing.

We should give God thanks and praise everyday.  So much of the world only remembers to thank Him certain times of the year if then.  As a child of God we can celebrate Thanksgiving everyday - Thanksgiving is OUR response to HIS grace.

Thanksgiving is responding to God's grace even in the midst of turmoil and trouble.  In "everything" Paul wrote, "give thanks".  It's easy to celebrate and give thanks when everything is going our way.  Real thanksgiving, biblical thanksgiving goes deeper than our circumstances!!  It's based on God's provision - not our performance.  

In the movie, FACING THE GIANTS, the coach told his team, "We are going to praise God when we win and we are going to praise God when we lose".  That's the mindset that we as God's children should have - We are going to praise God when we win (when things go our way) and we are going to praise God when we lose (when we think they aren't going our way).  One thing is for sure, if you have read the back of His book, you know we win :-)

Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

I know it's hard to be thankful when you have recently lost a loved one, have a loved one sick unto death, facing divorce or other marital problems, in financial hardships etc., and it's hard if you have a bunch of little problems troubling your mind.  Real thanksgiving is when we praise God IN SPITE OF the circumstances.  In 2 timothy 1:11-12, Paul shows us what real thanksgiving looks like:  He is in a dungeon, chained to a Roman soldier, looking back over 30 some years of serving Christ.  He could have whined and cried, "Lord look what I've done for you, why are you doing this to me?"  But instead he said:   11Whereunto I am appointed a preacher, and an apostle, and a teacher of the Gentiles.

 12For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.

He gives 2 reasons for his confidence, even while in the dungeon.  If we can claim these same reasons, we can celebrate real thanksgiving.

#1)  I can be confidant because I know God personally - There is a huge difference in knowing about God and really knowing God.  Even the devil knows about God and trembles because of what he knows.  To know God personally is to love and serve Him as your Savior, leader, counselor and friend.  It is not enough to know about God.  It is not enough to be an excellent studier of His word.  In order to celebrate real thanksgiving, you must know God personally.

#2)  I can be confident because God is able to guard all that I entrust to Him.

If I was the primary caretaker of all the people and possessions that are important to me - I would be in big trouble because my wisdom and power are limited (to what God gives me).  I can't save anyone or anything.  But when I entrust to God all those people/things that are important to me, then I have enlisted the all-wise, omnipotent God.  This doesn't give me an automatic safety net but I know that He has my best interests in mind, that His plans are for my good and He knows my heart.  When I enlist Him for instance by praying His hedge of protection, I believe, I have faith that He is fully capable of taking care of everything and protecting everything, something I cannot do.  He will be there to fight my battles for me.  I have His promise that nothing can happen tomorrow that He and I can't handle.  

NO TRAGEDY CAN ERASE GOD'S SUFFICIENCY (I didn't write that but wish I had :-)

So here we are on the brink of Thanksgiving "day" and we don't have a clue what tomorrow holds, but praise God, we know WHO holds tomorrow!  So we can dare to give thanks to God and say with Paul, "for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day".  

When Ralph Waldo Emerson lost his son, he wrote in his journal - "all that I have seen teaches me to trust God for all that I have not seen".  To me that may have been the most beautiful thing he wrote!  

Hebrews 11:1 (KJV) Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

But, if we believe with our whole heart, "all that we have seen teaches us to trust God for all that we have not seen", our faith will grow - then we know the secret of our confidence and we are ready for "thanksgiving".

References. and excerpts: The Secret of our confidence - Bill Bouknight, Bible gateway, King James Bible

First published in facebook, November 20, 2011 at 1:11am

Happy Father's Day

This is the message the Lord gave me to share Sunday morning (Father's Day).  I pray it speaks to you.  God bless.

CALL NO MAN FATHER -

Today is Father's Day and I would like to take this opportunity to wish all the dad's a Happy Father's Day.
You notice I didn't say all the "fathers".
I think this day should be changed to National Dad's day.
May sound crazy but my Bible tells me in...
Matthew 23:9
And call no [man] your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.
There is an old saying, "anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy".
I'm going to disprove that.
We have lots of great dads.
I thought my dad was one of the greatest, smartest men that ever walked the earth.  He has gone on to be with the Lord but no one to this day can convince me otherwise. He was and always will be daddy to me.
I found a poem for the dad's while surfing the internet:

What Makes a Dad?
God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of all ages,
The power of the eagles' flight,
The joy of a morning in Spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity, and
The depth of a family need.
Then God combined these qualities.
And when there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it - DAD!
(author unknown)  If you know who wrote it, please leave in comments, thanks :)
---------------------------------------
It does take someone special to be a dad, here are just a few things a dad (and granddad) must know:
How to fix everything from a broken toy to a leaky faucet
How to go without lunches so his daughter can have a new dress
How to interview prospective dates without scaring them off
How to scare off prospective dates
How to encourage his child without "pushing" them
How to harden himself so he can discipline through a child's tears
How to hug
How to teach his child to drive
How to hand over the car keys
How to give horsey rides with a sore back
How to teach a child to reach for the stars
When to let go, and when to hold on tight
How to pay for a mortgage and college tuition at the same time

It takes a lot to be a dad and I'm not taking away from the dad's when I say I'm going to disprove that old saying.
Dad's are wonderful and God hand picks them to raise the children they raise.
But when they say anyone can be a Father, I have to disagree.
Let's look at what the Bible says about our Heavenly Father and just what "our" Father does for us.
Matthew 6:26
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
James 1:17
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
Luke 11:13
If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall [your] heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?
and lets not forget 
John 3:16
For God (our Father) so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

I know the Bible refers to Father's in many verses.
Father's don't provoke your children to wrath.
Honor your Father and your mother, etc.
But it also says call no man Father....
I don't know a "human" who can do the things our Heavenly Father has and is doing.
To me He deserves to be the only one called Father.
He deserves our praise, our worship.
He is Abba, Father.
So this Father's Day, lets celebrate our dads because they are so special to us but let's celebrate first the Father who hears our every prayer, the Father who is there no matter what we have done, who loves us and provides for us.  Let's celebrate the Lord.
Happy "dad's" day and God bless you dad's out there for all you do.

Need Washing

I don't know who wrote this but it has such a good message that I had to repost it. If you know the author, please feel free to give them credit in the comments. God bless A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout.. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target. We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day. The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in 'Mom let's run through the rain,' she said. 'What?' Mom asked. 'Let's run through the rain!' She repeated 'No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit,' Mom replied. This young child waited about another minute and repeated: 'Mom, let's run through the rain,' 'We'll get soaked if we do,' Mom said. 'No, we won't, Mom.. That's not what you said this morning,' the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm. This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet? 'Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!' The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.. 'Honey, you are absolutely right.. Let's run through the rain. If GOD lets us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing,' Mom said. Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case.. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing. Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories every day. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven. I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. Feel free to send this to the people you'll never forget and remember to also send it to the person who sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, nothing bad is going to happen, it just means you're in a hurry. Take the time to live!!! Keep in touch with your friends, you never know when you'll need each other -- and don't forget to run in the rain! author unknown Father God, I do need washing. Forgive and wash away my sins. Help me to live not the way the flesh wants to live Father but the way You want me to live. Help me to be a light to a lost and dying world. Give us a fresh outpouring of Your Holy Spirit. I thank You for all those You have placed in my life, family and friends, and ask that today You touch them in a mighty way and answer each prayer request for their needs Lord. Give them integrity in their decisions and peace in their circumstances. Give us this day our daily bread. Help us to draw close to You so that You may draw close to us. Let us abide in You and Your word abide in us. Thank you for friends who will forward these messages to me to give me just a minute to reflect on You. To some it may be a simple little story but to me Father it was a reminder that I do need washing, I need daily cleansing to be forgiven of my sins and be acceptable to stand before You. I give You all praise, honor and glory. In Jesus mighty name. Amen his servant, tawanab Pray for the peace of Jerusalem

As Father's day draws to a close...

I am reminded of Matthew 23:9 And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.

I am so thankful Lord for all You have done for me. Your mercy and grace abound in my life. You are truly worthy to be praised.

Your word says that before I was born You knew me. I thank you for the earthly "dad" you gave me. Without realizing why, (until I read the verse above), I was never taught to call him my Father and I'm so glad because that honor truly only goes to You. He was always my dad, - in my younger days he was daddy. Thank you for showing through him all my life, for instilling in me (he and my mom), a love for You. For raising me to walk in Your footsteps. I know I have been blessed because many did not have that. I know he wasn't perfect, but once upon a time there was a little blue-eyed blonde haired girl that thought he was. He did set a Godly example for me all of my life and I can never thank You or him enough for that. I pray that today there are many that can say that about their dad's but I know that those who can't do have the opportunity to call You Father the same as I do. Help them, take that step Father God, no matter what is going on in their lives right now, they can turn to you as Father, dad, comforter, You will never let them down. Help me to be the kind of example to my children and grandchildren and to the world, that my dad was for me. In Jesus precious and wonderful name. Amen

Get a Grip!

That was my lesson from God this morning. As I told my daughter, every blog I write is a lesson God has given me that day. It's personal for me but I enjoy sharing it.

This is what He told me this morning:

You can't hold on to God with one hand and the world with the other - you will lose your grip on one of them! Matthew 6:24No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

God intends for us to live this life, that is why He gave it to us, however, nothing in it should be more important to us than the One who gave us life. He wants more than anything to give us everything we desire, but our desires should match His. He wants the very best for us, we should want the very best for ourselves. That doesn't mean new cars, new homes, fancy clothes or jewelry, although He can and does give us those things.

I often compare God and myself to me and my own children and grandchildren. I want to see them happy and give them everything they desire to make them happy but as a parent I know that not everything they desire is what's best for them and I know what they need. They need love, nurturing, food for their tummies, warmth, education, etc. I know "things" make them happy and want to give them everything. However, I also know "things" only give them momentary satisfaction, then generally they want newer, shinier (more expensive) things. Momentary satisfaction doesn't last while meeting their deepest needs does.

That is what God does for us, He provides our every need for growth and will give us those little "things" we want along the way. He loves us so much more even than we love our own children. In His wisdom, He knows the things that will truly make a lasting impression on us. He knows what is best for us.

Just like our own children, we may forget that new "toy" in a month or so but we will never forget how God provided for us in our time of need.

At the moment, we truly want that new car, new house, new shoes etc., but a few months down the road it's not good enough and we want something else to play with-something newer, shinier, (more expensive). You get my drift, right? Just like our own children! Now think about it --(here comes a God thump), where do they learn it??? Ouch.. pointing fingers back at self, :(

God wants the very thing from us that we want from our own children, love, respect and to see us happy and healthy.

He wants us to turn to Him for our every care because He truly cares for us.

Matthew 6:25-34 25Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? 26Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? 27Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? 28And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: 29And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? 31Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? 32(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. 33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

34Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

He wants to see us happy. He loves to see our smiles and our joy even more than we enjoy seeing the faces of our own children. Just like our own children, their new toys take time away from us unless we teach them to put them in the proper perspective. Our new toys can take our time away from our precious Heavenly Father if we don't put our priorities in perspective.

Enjoy this life God has given you, enjoy the toys He gives you but remember those aren't what's important in life, it's the One who gave you life, the One who sustains it that is most important. Be in this world, not of this world: 1 John 2:15, 15Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

Don't try to hold on to God with one hand and the world with the other, GET A GRIP on God with both hands. Let go of the things of this world, whether it be possessions, music, people, addictions or just day to day busyness, let it go. God will provide the needs and the desires of your heart if you seek each day to be in the center of His will. 1 John 5:14, And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:

What a promise! Just let go and let God. Are you having problems today? (who isn't). It might be in a relationship, at work, with your finances, whatever it is, those are wordly things, God wants you to turn lose with that hand and get a grip on Him with both hands. He will take care of you, He will take care of any situation. He can do so much more than we ever can. Don't let your worries cause you to lose your grip on God, allow God to loosen your grip on your worries (this world). Give God your other hand.

God bless

Christmas - Fact or Fiction

The more I study the more I understand why Jesus said it would be easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle. (Matthew 19:24). The enemy is so good at what he does that we commit sin after sin without even realizing at the time we are doing it. The biggest way he gets to us and causes us to break our relationship with God is through "little white lies". The Bible says to keep "all" God's commandments. Even Jesus himself said He did not come to do away with the law but to fulfill it. Meaning He did not do away with any of God's previous laws and especially the 10 commandments (laws). One of the ten commandments that just about anyone can quote you is "thou shalt not lie". So why then as christians is it so easy for us to do and to excuse ourselves for by saying we are doing it for the good of others? A little white lie to keep from hurting someones feelings, a little white lie to cover up another little white lie. The biggest lie of all - "yes Virginia, there IS a santa claus"!! If we thought more of God and less of ourselves we would realize earlier that we are breaking God's commandments all in the name of keeping "Jesus birthday".
I see things from friends all over the internet asking me to join causes and posting signs, "keep Christ in Christmas". News flash: Christ NEVER was in Christmas!! Christmas was started way way before the birth of Christ. Not only that, it began as a pagan holiday to celebrate the birth of the "sun" god (little g). Like many secular holidays, the church incorporated it into christian beliefs "to give christians a way to celebrate without sinning"!!! Plus one for the enemy, the church, christians, bought it. Not only that, they took it one step further and incorporated a lie, thereby breaking the commandments. Teaching your children to believe in santa claus. What happens when they are older and you have to tell them there really is no santa and you've lied to them their entire young life. At the same time, their entire young life you've led them to believe that they can trust you, that you would never lie to them or do anything to hurt them. Any of you reading this that remembers telling your children the truth, what was their reaction. To say that most of them are hurt is an understatement. Many of them refuse to accept the truth for a long time after they are told, and many are angry at their parents.
I have been intensely studying the Bible, searching for God's truths and when you open your Bible and ask God to open up His word in your heart and open your eyes of understanding, He will give you what you ask for. I have been just as guilty in the past of celebrating this holiday, I've believed like many that Christmas was a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. I love the Lord with all my heart, mind, soul and body and I loved Christmas because it was celebrating Him, I thought. Once I actually started studying I've learned that not only Christmas but also Easter are pagan holidays. Please don't take my word for it, study it out for yourself, but, be willing to accept the truth when God reveals it to you. Be ready to change your way of thinking. Remember if you break one commandment, you've broken them all, there is no big sin, little sin. Remember that keeping God's commandments and laws is crucial to your salvation but mostly remember that YOU are responsible for your children's salvation. You are responsible for them learning the truth. We say we teach our children Christmas because we love them, because we want them to love Jesus and honor His birth. Nowhere in the Bible does God tell us to celebrate Jesus birthday, only that He was born. What we need to remember is that He was born and died for our salvation. If the day mattered, God would have put it in the Bible. He has given us Holy Days in the Bible to celebrate and those we should keep. If we have a prayer of making it into the Kingdom of God we've got to wake up, we have got to quit incorporating the world into our lives, into our children's lives. God has something to say about this in the Bible - Matthew 15:9, But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
And in Matthew 15:8, Jesus said: This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.
In all "truth and honesty" how much glory does Christ get on the very day the world celebrates as His birthday? How many of us would go to a birthday party for someone we care about and take gifts not to that person but to everyone else attending the party!!!! That's exactly what we do on Christmas. We give gifts to everyone else that is there and how many of us actually even take time to honor Christ? As I said earlier, I was just as guilty. This has been one of the hardest truths for me to wrap my mortal mind around because Christmas was my favorite holiday BEFORE I learned the truth. Why do we need a special day to buy gifts or show our family that we love them? We are free to do that at anytime. We should be more concerned with our salvation, our children's salvation and the signs that we truly are living in the last days. It isn't easy sometimes to learn and accept the truth but if we have a hope of making it into the Kingdom of God, we must do this.
Christmas is NOT a command of God, it is a tradition of men. Mark 7:6-9,

6 He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.

7 Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.

8 For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do.

9 And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition.
God gave us free will but His original plan was that all might be saved. It's up to us what we do with the truth. We can't just pick and choose what part of God's word we want to believe or live. He gave us the Bible for instruction, nothing can be added to it or taken away from it. You either follow God or man, your choice.
Now that you have learned the truth, you can't unlearn it. I pray that you take it, pray over it and ask God to help you do the right thing in your life, your children's lives, grandchildren's lives, whoever you might speak to.
God bless

My "Mom" Story

I've been intending to write this for a while and thought Mother's Day would be the perfect day to do it. It is now 10:30 p.m. and I still haven't done it lol. I believe that is procrastination! Today is a bittersweet day for many of us. My own sweet mom passed away when I was 21, I am 52 and still miss her. So many times I wish she could have been here, but I know she has a special spot in Heaven where she can see what's going on. One of the things my mom always told me was, "be careful what you pray for". She told me this many times and I in my infinite wisdom usually didn't listen lol. That always comes back to me now when I think about my kids. This is my "mom" story.
I married the first time when I was 18. Growing up all I wanted to be was a wife and mother so I was excited getting married and thinking of starting a family. Things didn't work out the way "I" planned but in hindsight "God's" plan was perfect. My first "child" was my newborn baby cousin when I was nine (now grown, pic on right) and to this day she still calls me mom :) and I still consider her my oldest. Fast-forward through my first marriage and fourteen years later I was divorced and still had not had a "baby", my age by then 32.
However, from that marriage I had my sister-in-law who was 5 when we met and 19 when I divorced. She was my second "child", I lost her last year at the age of 43 and there will forever be a hole in my heart from the loss of this daughter. (Picture on left.) (I'm missing 2 grandchildren pictures here that go with her picture but they aren't on my computer, however I want them to know when they read this, they are included and this is a hint that I need new pics :)
I remarried a year later to a man with 3 "children" at the time they were 2, 14 and 16. Shortly after we married the 2 oldest came to live with us and we got visitation with the 2 year old every other week-end. My husband passed away from surgery complications but my girls and my son are still mine and always will be. After he passed away I decided that I didn't have to be married to have children but due to an emergency hysterectomy the possibility of giving birth was completely out of the question. I decided to become a foster mom. My kids were grown by then except the youngest who was barely a teenager and she lived with her mom, (who by the way is an excellent mom and a dear friend). I started foster care with a 13 year old boy and a 15 year old girl but I didn't stop there, my kids have ranged from 13 - 21 when they came to live with me. Now the rest of the story lol.
I remarried for the 3rd (and final) time a man that I know in my heart God sent my way. My soulmate. With him I received 3 more children. At the time we married, they were 15, 20 and 22. Only one of them came to live with us, (pictured on the left with 2 of my other girls). Even though she was in her twenties (barely) then, her and I are very close, her and my oldest are the two most like me (they would probably rather I didn't tell that lol). No matter what age or stage, love and family comes from the heart. All in all in my life, I've been blessed to be mom to over 50 children that God has given me. Many of them I didn't get to keep for long and don't get to see or talk to, some of them I don't even know where they are because of the system, but I do know that they have a special place in my heart still. Thanks to all of my kids because I also now have adorable grandchildren that don't know that meemaw isn't their blood meemaw. None of us worry about telling people our "story" unless it's a really need to know. This is where my mom's words come back to me many times in my memories.


Be careful what you pray for - I always prayed for kids or children, of course thinking babies but God had different plans. All my kids came at different ages and stages of their lives but all are truly a blessing. I didn't ask for babies, I asked for children and that's what God gave me and He gave abundantly. He sees the big picture, He knew what I needed and He knew what each one of my kids needed in their lives and He gave us both the desires of our hearts. He gave me children to nurture and love, in His time so that I would be a buffer for their hurts and nurture them the way He wanted. Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
By the time my children started coming along I had so much love built up that I probably sometimes smothered them with it. I've tried to be the mom to them that my mom was for me. Always there, always listening, like my mom with me, I don't always tell them what they want to hear and they might get mad at me for a little bit but everything I do and everything I say is with love and they know it. I love them all with all my heart, that's a God thing. Some I had for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime. I am the most blessed mom I know. God taught me you don't have to give birth to be a mom and giving birth doesn't necessarily make a mom, that's why I had my children because they needed a "mom" and God knew I needed them. Thank God for honing me into the mom He wanted me to be and to my girls and my sons, all of you, thank you for giving me a reason to celebrate today. Thank you for blessing my life, I love you all with all my heart. My mom would be so proud of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren just as I am so proud of all of you and what you have accomplished. (I wish you could have known each other).
AND: I finally got my "babies" when my grandchildren came along.
That was just the icing on the cake :)


I would like to say to anyone who wants children and for whatever reason has not been able to have them. Love the children God puts in your path, whether it be for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Yes, it will hurt when you lose touch with them but I wouldn't trade any of my kids or the lessons I've learned from them. I pray that I touched their lives in a way that they never forget. I pray that I raised them for however long I had them the way that God wanted and that as they grow older they remember and come to know the Lord as adults. I know the ones that are close still worship and love the Lord. I have tried to make a difference in all their lives and I believe I did, but the one thing I know for sure is that I tried to show them God's love. I know each and every one of them made a difference in MY life. So I have to repeat, love the children God puts in your path, whether they be friends children, family members, babies or grown, don't worry about how long they will be there. You will both be richer for it. Don't let the pain you feel from not bearing your own children cloud the blessings God is putting before you. If I had born children of my own, I wouldn't have been the same person I don't believe. I wouldn't have had the open heart God needed me to have when each of these "children" came into my life. I wouldn't trade "my" kids for all the world. They are all as much mine, maybe even more so than if I'd given birth to them.
God bless you all,
til next time
tawanab
P.S. I started this on Mother's Day but due to some internet problems did not get to publish it that day.

Real Treasure

Store up your treasures in Heaven. Matthew 6:19-21, 19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: 20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: 21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

How many of us have "stuff" we have hung on to for years that has no value? In the process of moving, I have discovered things I didn't even realize I still had. Trying to pack I've been looking at everything with a more critical eye. Even pictures! I have pictures of friends, friend's children, friend's grandchildren. I know who they are or who they are supposed to be by looking, but I never got around to putting names on them. Then one day while packing I asked my daughter, "do you know who this is?" She said, "no, is it family?" I said, "no, it's a friend's grandbaby". She just looked and nodded and asked whose. I told her and she vaguely remembered the friend. I said, "if I were to die tomorrow and you were having to go through my things would you care who this is?" She looked at me of course like I was asking her a trick question, lol. I said, "no, seriously, would you?" She said, "well no, not really". I said, "exactly, this picture was taken 10 years ago, the last time I saw this friend was 9 years ago, this little girl is 11 now and doesn't even know me". This particular friend is probably one I will never see again this side of Heaven, so why do I keep it? The same reason I've kept all this other "stuff" over the years. It meant or means something to me. However, what good are they, or the thousands of other things I've stored up when Jesus calls me home? These "things" aren't my real treasure. The old adage, you can't take it with you comes to my mind.

I think to myself, at the very least I can mark things so that whomever is unlucky enough to have to sort through my things can do it easily and not toss out something that might really be important. Pictures need to have names and even descriptions, especially if they won't mean anything to anyone else without me around. Family pictures need to be labeled for the ancestry buff in the family (present or future). Other pictures and memorabilia needs to be marked so that it can easily be gotten rid of or kept. Then I remember, this isn't the real treasure.

I've found items that really are antiques and I've found items I "thought" might be antiques. My clothes are (were) arranged in sizes, five of them!!!! I won't say which one I'm in now but I will say that stepping into my closet is like watching Cinderella, it's pure fantasy, lol. Meaning, I will never see that size again without getting deathly ill and it's not worth that! What I consider treasure, my children consider trash. A couple of them have begged me to let them clean house for me. That doesn't mean my house is literally dirty just that they want to go through all my "important" stuff and clean it out. My middle daughter and I are big fans of the reality show "Clean House". She looks around my house and says, "you should let me do yours". Not!!! I will admit I'm a packrat! I am sifting through it with a more critical eye with this move that is looming ahead, but there are still some things they will just have to deal with. Then I remember, this isn't the real treasure. With that thought I've gone back through and cleaned out a little more.

That picture of the baby I mentioned above reminds me of happy memories with her grandmother. Sometimes I don't think about her for months and I see that picture and it brings her to mind. I see a drawing I kept that one of my grandbabies did and my heart swells with love, I remember them at that age and wonder where the years have gone. I see the little wishing well on my shelf and think of my grandmother. Then I look up and see an old avon bottle shaped like a peacock with a gold head for the cap and I think of my own mom. I can see her in my mind's eye as clearly as if she is standing with me. I hear her laughter, I remember the talks we had. I remember hearing her pray, I remember her dragging me to church when I was a little girl, I remember her love. I see my dad's old cowboy (farmer's) hat and I hear his laughter, I remember the time he scared me spitless with a fake skeleton hand, I remember hearing him way up in the pasture raising his voice in praise and prayer to the Lord, and I remember holding his hand as he stepped from this life into the next to be with our Lord and Savior. All of these memories and more flood in when I look at this "stuff". How can I get rid of it? I'm sitting on a goldmine. A goldmine and a lifetime of memories. Then God reminds me, this isn't the real treasure.

When I'm gone, though I've told them stories, this "stuff" won't mean the same to my children and to them it will be trash. I hope that they have their own treasures (memories) of their mom and how much I loved each and every one of them to get them through til we meet again. Our memories sometimes need a little nudge, I like to think that's what this "stuff" is, a little nudge, not treasure. Meanwhile, I'll continue to go through my house keep cutting down on some of the things I've kept. We are having a yard sale and some of it will become someone else's "stuff". My closet has been reduced to about 3 boxes. I've actually thrown away duplicate pictures, contacts (lenses) from 5 years ago, some eye glasses from many years ago, clothes that really aren't fit to wear much less sell, I think I'm doing pretty good, however, maybe I'll just keep that little blurry picture of my grandson, even though you can't really see who it is, I know, and I remember him running and laughing loudly when I snapped the picture (which is why its blurry). Even that isn't the real treasure!

Earthly treasures? Not the kind of treasures made from gold or silver. These are little mementos of my treasures here on earth that God has blessed me with - my family and friends. My real treasure is stored in Heaven. My heart is with God first and then this wonderful amazing family He has given me. I am rich beyond measure. I can rid myself of lots of this "stuff". These really aren't my real treasures.

What will really matter when Jesus calls me home? My real treasures will be walking with Him and seeing my loved ones already there. Then someday seeing my husband, children, grandchildren, friends and family coming through the gates when it's their time. I may have these little treasures now but I know where the real treasure is, where my heart is. Jesus said in John 14:2-3, 2 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

Where is your "real treasure" stored up?

God bless,
tawanab

The Story of Edith Easter

Happy Easter all. I hope everyone has a blessed Easter and is able to spend it with those you love. My children and grandchildren are all spending this Easter with other family and I miss them but I know that God has His hand on them and will bless their day. My next to oldest daughter is taking her children to church this morning for the first time by herself, (we usually go together). God has been working on her heart and I pray this morning that He touches her in a way she can't refuse and that this will be the beginning of a new walk for her. The Bible says train up a child in the way they should go and I did that with her. I pray today is the day she "returns". Since we will be moving away it will be completely up to her to nourish the grandbabies spiritual life and I believe that full responsibility has finally sunk in to her. Help me pray for her and my grandbabies that today she will rededicate her life to God and this will be the first day of the rest of her life walking with God. :) My other girls, thank God, have been walking with the Lord and trying hard to follow His Word and I'm very proud of them. That isn't easy for young people in today's world. My prayers are with them also that He gives them strength to continue fighting the good fight.

Today I'm cheating again, I want to share a story I've read many times on the internet. The story has a lot of meaning but is especially poignant today. I hope you enjoy.

The Story of Edith Easter
Edith Burns was a wonderful Christian who lived in San Antonio, Texas . She was the patient of a doctor by the name of Will Phillips. Dr. Phillips was a gentle doctor who saw patients as people. His favorite patient was Edith Burns.

One morning he went to his office with a heavy heart and it was because of Edith Burns. When he walked into that waiting room, there sat Edith with her big black Bible in her lap earnestly talking to a young mother sitting beside her.

Edith Burns had a habit of introducing herself in this way: "Hello, my name is Edith Burns. Do you believe in Easter?" Then she would explain the meaning of Easter, and many times people would be saved. Dr. Phillips walked into that office and there he saw the head nurse, Beverly. Beverly had first met Edith when she was taking her blood pressure Edith began by saying, "My name is Edith Burns. Do you believe in Easter?"
Beverly said, "Why yes I do." Edith said, "Well, what do you believe about Easter?" Beverly said, "Well, it's all about egg hunts, going to church, and dressing up." Edith kept pressing her about the real meaning of Easter, and finally led her to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.
Dr. Phillips said, " Beverly , don't call Edith into the office quite yet. I believe there is another delivery taking place in the waiting room. After being called back in the doctor's office, Edith sat down and when she took a look at the doctor she said, "Dr. Will, why are you so sad? Are you reading your Bible? Are you praying?"
Dr. Phillips said gently, "Edith, I'm the doctor and you're the patient." With a heavy heart he said, "Your lab report came back and it says you have cancer, and Edith, you're not going to live very long."
Edith said, "Why Will Phillips, shame on you. Why are you so sad? Do you think God makes mistakes? You have just told me I'm going to see my precious Lord Jesus, my husband, and my friends. You have just told me that I am going to celebrate Easter forever, and here you are having difficulty giving me my ticket!" Dr. Phillips thought to himself, "What a magnificent woman this Edith Burns is!"
Edith continued coming to Dr. Phillips. Christmas came and the office was closed through January 3rd. On the day the office opened, Edith did not show up. Later that afternoon, Edith called Dr. Phillips and said she would have to be moving her story to the hospital and said, "Will, I'm very near home, so would you make sure that they put women in here next to me in my room who need to know about Easter."

Well, they did just that and women began to come in and share that room with Edith. Many women were saved. Everybody on that floor from staff to patients were so excited about Edith, that they started calling her Edith Easter; that is everyone except Phyllis Cross, the head nurse. Phyllis made it plain that she wanted nothing to do with Edith because she was a "religious nut". She had been a nurse in an army hospital. She had seen it all and heard it all. She was the original G.I. Jane. She had been married three times, she was hard, cold, and did everything by the book.
One morning the two nurses who were to attend to Edith were sick. Edith had the flu and Phyllis Cross had to go in and give her a shot. When she walked in, Edith had a big smile on her face and said, "Phyllis, God loves you and I love you, and I have been praying for you."
Phyllis Cross said, "Well, you can quit praying for me, it won't work. I'm not interested." Edith said, "Well, I will pray and I have asked God not to let me go home until you come into the family." Phyllis Cross said, "Then you will never die because that will never happen," and curtly walked out of the room.
Every day Phyllis Cross would walk into the room and Edith would say, "God loves you Phyllis and I love you, and I'm praying for you."
One day Phyllis Cross said she was literally drawn to Edith's room like a magnet would draw iron. She sat down on the bed and Edith said, "I'm so glad you have come, because God told me that today is your special day"

Phyllis Cross said, "Edith, you have asked everybody here the question, "Do you believe in Easter but you have never asked me."
Edith said, "Phyllis, I wanted to many times, but God told me to wait until you asked, and now that you have asked." Edith Burns took her Bible and shared with Phyllis Cross the Easter Story of the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Edith said, "Phyllis, do you believe in Easter? Do you believe that Jesus Christ is alive and that He wants to live in your heart?"
Phyllis Cross said, "Oh I want to believe that with all of my heart, and I do want Jesus in my life "Right there, Phyllis Cross prayed and invited Jesus Christ into her heart. For the first time Phyllis Cross did not walk out of a hospital room, she was carried out on the wings of angels.
Two days later, Phyllis Cross came in and Edith said, "Do you know what day it is?" Phyllis Cross said, "Why Edith, it's Good Friday."
Edith said, "Oh, no, for you every day is Easter. Happy Easter Phyllis!"
Two days later, on Easter Sunday, Phyllis Cross came into work, did some of her duties and then went down to the flower shop and got some Easter lilies because she wanted to go up to see Edith and give her some Easter lilies and wish her a Happy Easter.

When she walked into Edith's room, Edith was in bed. That big black Bible was on her lap. Her hands were in that Bible. There was a sweet smile on her face. When Phyllis Cross went to pick up Edith's hand, she realized Edith was dead. Her left hand was on John 14: "In my Father's house are many mansions. I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also." Her right hand was on Revelation 21:4, "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, there shall be no more death nor sorrow, nor crying; and there shall be no more pain, for the former things have
passed away."

Phyllis Cross took one look at that dead body, and then lifted her face toward heaven, and with tears streaming down here cheeks, said, "Happy Easter, Edith - Happy Easter!"

Phyllis Cross left Edith's body, walked out of the room, and over to a table where two student nurses were sitting. She said, "My name is Phyllis Cross. Do you believe in Easter?"

I pray that today as we celebrate the resurrection, you will renew your relationship with Jesus. Make a new commitment to love, share and serve Him today, then share the Easter message with as many as possible. If you already have a relationship with Jesus then I pray today He will strengthen that relationship. If you have family that you have been praying for then I lift them up in agreement with you that the Lord will show them what He has done for them and that they too will accept this most precious of all gifts, God's amazing grace.

God bless you all.

On being a mom and an open letter to my children

All my life all I wanted was to be a mom. That was my single most prayer, always, and truly was a dream I reached for. Nothing ever seemed more important to me in the past NOR does anything compare to it now. My favorite story is be careful what you ask for when you pray but that's another blog, another time :)
I have learned a few truths about being a mom:
1) Wanting it ,no matter how badly, doesn’t mean you will be good at it!
2) Children do not come with an instruction booklet! No one, not new mothers or experienced mothers can tell you how to do it, they can only give you the benefit of their experience, right or wrong!
3) NO love comes close to it, (other than the love God has for you), not your love for your parents, your brothers and sisters if you have them, your spouse, nothing compares to the love you feel for your children, whether you gave birth to them or not.
4) If you think you can’t possibly love more, wait til you have grandchildren.
5) Being a mom is NOT easy, when they hurt you hurt.
6) Making the right decisions for your children as they are growing only gets harder with time, butting out when the choice is no longer yours is even harder.
7) the cycle of being a mom repeats itself:

• when they are little they depend on you for everything,

• teenagers think they know everything and you know nothing,
  
• young adults think you know something but your knowledge is dated and doesn’t apply to their generation,
  
• then comes a magic time when they realize you do know something and they turn to you for advice and actually believe you know what you are talking about and actually sometimes even listen to you (believe it or not it happens),
  
• then somewhere in the middle they start to think they have absorbed all your knowledge and everyone around them and once again they know everything,
• then you get older and they think what you knew you must have forgotten and you really don’t know anything. At some point I believe they realize they still love you and maybe by then they have children and understand some of the love you have for them.
  

8) No matter how hard you try at some point you will disappoint your children, and there will be times they might disappoint you.
9) they will make you cry and break your heart.
10) you will make them cry.
11) you NEVER EVER stop loving them (even though at times you might not like them).
12) they never lose their ability to hurt you.
13) you will wonder where you went wrong.
14) you will see what you did right (and unfortunately where you went wrong).
15) they will always take what you say wrong!
16) your children will remember things differently than you do.
17) being a mom is the single most important thing you will ever do in your life!!!!!!!
Take it seriously, you don’t get practice and you don’t get a second chance. Whether you give birth to them or God just chooses to put them in your life, cherish them, do the best you can, that is all God asks of you, don’t make rash decisions and don’t take them for granted.
They truly do grow up to fast.
18) you can be a mom without giving birth and love unconditionally those that God has put in your life.
19) there comes a time when they don’t need you anymore and you aren’t quite sure what to do with yourself because your life has revolved around them.
20) they will make decisions that make you wonder what alien being has possessed them.
21) your children will go through many changes, some of them you won’t like but you NEVER EVER stop loving them, that's being a mom and its wonderful!!!
I guess that is what this blog is all about -- I want my children to know I love them, ALL of them, whether they have been in my life a short time or all their lives.

OPEN LETTER TO MY CHILDREN:
I love you more than anything in this world and I thank God for putting you in my life and I thank you for putting up with me. When you think you disappoint me, its not you I’m disappointed in, its me. I only want whats best for all of you and don’t want to see you do things that will permanently scar or hurt you. Any advice I’ve given has been from love and just a little experience that God has given me with age. I hope you have taken something from your life with me that will benefit you and stay with you all your life. I didn't give you the gift of life, but I hope I’ve contributed in some small way in making your life happier. My wish for all of you is that you know the love I have for you and pass that love on to your own children. I pray your children never break your heart. I pray you always have your children and nothing comes between you and them, (and believe it or not many things can), I hope that your children give you as much happiness and happy memories as you have given me. No matter what happens I will always believe I’m truly blessed to have had all of you in my life. I may not always be right, I may not always say what you want to hear, but I will always love you, I will always be your mom.

Here’s a little advice from your mom:
1) Love your children with all your heart, they are a blessing from God and cannot be replaced.
2) teach your children about God, the world will teach them plenty, give them a Rock to come back to.
3) pick your battles, not everything is the end of the world, some things can even be ignored, don’t sweat the small stuff.
4) you can’t be their best friend and their mom until they are grown, they need you to teach them and give them guidance when they are little and yes, discipline.
5) don’t do things even with your children you have to apologize for later.
6) don’t make them grow up to fast, let them be little.
7) teach your children respect, not fear.
8) when you are tired, thank God you have them, when you are hurt, thank God you have them, when you are at your wits end, thank God you have them.
9) whatever you do, never stop thanking God for them, remember He could have chosen someone else to give them to.
10) don’t expect them to know you love them, tell them. (That’s good advice for all you love actually.) If you love someone, TELL them, don’t expect them to know by your actions because they can’t always tell.
Remember 16 above, they see things differently than you do, they will remember things differently than you do, you might even have to explain some things to them so they understand why you did what you did. (Miraculously after they have children of their own they can see why you did some of the things you did.) Unfortunately, you may not know how differently they took what you said or did when they were younger until they are grown! LOL

Just Five More Minutes

I received this email and it hit home with me so I thought I would share it with everyone. Sometimes life gets so busy our priorities get all screwed up. Work, housework, homework, many things become priorities while the real priorities, our loved ones, take a back seat.

I have a little granddaughter that this story makes me think of. She loves to jump on the bed while you hold her hands or take "giggy back" rides or run circles through the house (she just turned 4). When you tell her that's enough, the first thing she says is "just one more time". Thanks to her pre-school she now can count and her responses have started being "just 2 more times, or just 3 more times". When I think how little time I have with her and how soon she will be grown, what does it hurt for that 5 minutes to let her do something that brings a smile to her face, "just one more time or just two more times".

When you work and there just aren't enough hours in the day do you begrudge your loved ones that extra five minutes? What is five minutes out of a lifetime? Is there someone you would give almost anything to have just five more minutes with? That's where my thoughts go. I never ever again want to regret not stopping for anyone I love for just five more minutes or just one more time. What I want my grandchildren to remember is meemaw stopped what she was doing for us. We were her priority. What I want my husband and kids to remember is, "she, stopped what she was doing for us". "We were her priority".

A gentleman I know wrote a christian song called "In the dash" The song talked about living your life in the dash, the time between the time you were born and the time you die. What do you want to be remembered for in the dash? What do you want to look back on your life and see? A life to celebrate and be remembered or days and days of blurs from working to much, living to hard and not taking time to "stop and smell the roses", not taking time to put the people in your life first and the duties of your life second. Each breath we take is a blessing because we aren't promised the next one. Each person in your life is a blessing because there is no guarantee how long you will have them. You can't always be with those you love but you can let them know you think of them. Take five minutes, give them a call. Take five minutes drop them a note. Take five more minutes to play with your children or grandchildren. Take five more minutes to talk to your spouse.

Take five more minutes to say a prayer before you start your day. Spend an extra five minutes a day with your Heavenly Father. You are always on His mind. You will be richer and your life more blessed.

Five More Minutes

While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground. "That's my son over there," she said, pointing to a little boy in a red sweater who was gliding down the slide. "He's a fine looking boy" the man said. "That's my daughter on the bike in the white dress."

Then, looking at his watch, he called to his daughter. "What do you say we go, Melissa?" Melissa pleaded, "Just five more minutes, Dad. Please? Just five more minutes."

The man nodded and Melissa continued to ride her bike to her heart's content. Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his daughter. "Time to go now?" Again Melissa pleaded, "Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes."

The man smiled and said, "OK."

"My, you certainly are a patient father," the woman responded. The man smiled and then said, "Her older brother Tommy was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with Tommy and now I'd give anything for just five more minutes with him. I've vowed not to make the same mistake with Melissa. She thinks she has five more minutes to ride her bike. The truth is, I get Five more minutes to watch her play."

Life is all about making priorities, what are your priorities?