When Is Enough, Enough?

Lately all you hear is about Christmas. Things pop up all over facebook and MySpace saying keep Christ in Christmas, but we can't even keep Him in our schools!! God is banned from our schools but Santa can go to church! When is enough, enough? What is wrong with that picture? Everyone keeps saying Jesus is the reason for the season but what about the rest of the year? What about in our everyday lives. Jesus is worth more than an honorable mention once a year. I hear parents say, "we are trying to teach our kids the true meaning of Christmas", and while they are talking, they are piling their shopping baskets full of playstations, wii's and all the other paraphanalia that goes with them for little Johnny or little Susie. Another is, "our kids know that it's Jesus' birthday and it's all about giving." They are right about one thing - Jesus, was all about giving. He gave the ultimate gift, everything else pales in comparison. There is absolutely nothing we can ever do or give that would come close to equaling what He gave for us. One day a year is not enough to thank Him, not enough to honor Him. Where are thoughts of Jesus when Little Johnny is sitting in Santa's lap asking for a new bicycle or a 600.00 computer? Where is Jesus when people are fighting for one item at a Wal-mart black Friday sale and one person gets mad and hits the other person? Where is Jesus? Waiting patiently for us to call on Him. Time is short and He won't/can't wait forever.

Jesus does not want us to remember His birthday. If that were important it would be listed in the Bible, there would be no guessing as to when He was actually born. He wants us to remember WHY, He came, HOW He died and WHAT He died for or more importantly WHO.

That would be you and I. It's not important when He was born, He doesn't want/need birthday parties or Christmas to celebrate His birth. He needs us to remember and honor Him everyday. The best gift we can give Him is ourselves. The best way to show Him we are remembering and honoring Him is to follow His commandments to love the Lord and love one another, everyday.

A Thankful Heart

Do you ever stop and ask, "who am I, that God should love me and bestow His grace on me"? I don't do that often enough. But, I do wonder, with the way I act at times or some things that I do, how does God put up with me? Sometimes we go through our days and whether we voice it or not, we just expect certain things from God. Just like any parent He gives us those things we don't even ask for. How many times do we stop and say thank you? How many things do we recognize what He gives us? How many times at the end of the day do we look back and realize what God has accomplished for us instead of lamenting what we didn't get or what didn't happen? I know I'm not talking to anyone else, I'm the only one that does that, right?
Something I used to hear my husband say all the time: "I just thank God for the precious breath of life, He didn't have to give me today."
Tonight, I am thankful. With all that I feel is going wrong, for tonight I want to recognize what is going right. God did give me the precious breath of life this morning. He gave me a beautiful day. He's given me an awesome family and precious friends. He's provided a roof over my and my family's head and food to eat. He has been faithful and it's my turn to acknowledge Him, in all things. It doesn't matter to God that I acknowledge Him publicly, only that I do realize and appreciate what He has done for me, and I do.
Sometimes I let the worries of the world get me down and I don't fully appreciate what a loving, forgiving, graceful God we serve. I'm the only one that does that too, right?
I've heard it said many times, "when you are down to nothing, God is up to something". How true that is. Also the old cliche, "don't sweat the small stuff". It's all small stuff to God so that means we aren't meant to "sweat" anything. Nothing is to big for our God.
With a meek and thankful heart I thank you God for all You are, all You have done and all You will do in our future, with or without our asking. I remain your humble servant and child. Even at my age, I know You aren't finished with me yet.
Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

My "Mom" Story

I've been intending to write this for a while and thought Mother's Day would be the perfect day to do it. It is now 10:30 p.m. and I still haven't done it lol. I believe that is procrastination! Today is a bittersweet day for many of us. My own sweet mom passed away when I was 21, I am 52 and still miss her. So many times I wish she could have been here, but I know she has a special spot in Heaven where she can see what's going on. One of the things my mom always told me was, "be careful what you pray for". She told me this many times and I in my infinite wisdom usually didn't listen lol. That always comes back to me now when I think about my kids. This is my "mom" story.
I married the first time when I was 18. Growing up all I wanted to be was a wife and mother so I was excited getting married and thinking of starting a family. Things didn't work out the way "I" planned but in hindsight "God's" plan was perfect. My first "child" was my newborn baby cousin when I was nine (now grown, pic on right) and to this day she still calls me mom :) and I still consider her my oldest. Fast-forward through my first marriage and fourteen years later I was divorced and still had not had a "baby", my age by then 32.
However, from that marriage I had my sister-in-law who was 5 when we met and 19 when I divorced. She was my second "child", I lost her last year at the age of 43 and there will forever be a hole in my heart from the loss of this daughter. (Picture on left.) (I'm missing 2 grandchildren pictures here that go with her picture but they aren't on my computer, however I want them to know when they read this, they are included and this is a hint that I need new pics :)
I remarried a year later to a man with 3 "children" at the time they were 2, 14 and 16. Shortly after we married the 2 oldest came to live with us and we got visitation with the 2 year old every other week-end. My husband passed away from surgery complications but my girls and my son are still mine and always will be. After he passed away I decided that I didn't have to be married to have children but due to an emergency hysterectomy the possibility of giving birth was completely out of the question. I decided to become a foster mom. My kids were grown by then except the youngest who was barely a teenager and she lived with her mom, (who by the way is an excellent mom and a dear friend). I started foster care with a 13 year old boy and a 15 year old girl but I didn't stop there, my kids have ranged from 13 - 21 when they came to live with me. Now the rest of the story lol.
I remarried for the 3rd (and final) time a man that I know in my heart God sent my way. My soulmate. With him I received 3 more children. At the time we married, they were 15, 20 and 22. Only one of them came to live with us, (pictured on the left with 2 of my other girls). Even though she was in her twenties (barely) then, her and I are very close, her and my oldest are the two most like me (they would probably rather I didn't tell that lol). No matter what age or stage, love and family comes from the heart. All in all in my life, I've been blessed to be mom to over 50 children that God has given me. Many of them I didn't get to keep for long and don't get to see or talk to, some of them I don't even know where they are because of the system, but I do know that they have a special place in my heart still. Thanks to all of my kids because I also now have adorable grandchildren that don't know that meemaw isn't their blood meemaw. None of us worry about telling people our "story" unless it's a really need to know. This is where my mom's words come back to me many times in my memories.


Be careful what you pray for - I always prayed for kids or children, of course thinking babies but God had different plans. All my kids came at different ages and stages of their lives but all are truly a blessing. I didn't ask for babies, I asked for children and that's what God gave me and He gave abundantly. He sees the big picture, He knew what I needed and He knew what each one of my kids needed in their lives and He gave us both the desires of our hearts. He gave me children to nurture and love, in His time so that I would be a buffer for their hurts and nurture them the way He wanted. Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
By the time my children started coming along I had so much love built up that I probably sometimes smothered them with it. I've tried to be the mom to them that my mom was for me. Always there, always listening, like my mom with me, I don't always tell them what they want to hear and they might get mad at me for a little bit but everything I do and everything I say is with love and they know it. I love them all with all my heart, that's a God thing. Some I had for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime. I am the most blessed mom I know. God taught me you don't have to give birth to be a mom and giving birth doesn't necessarily make a mom, that's why I had my children because they needed a "mom" and God knew I needed them. Thank God for honing me into the mom He wanted me to be and to my girls and my sons, all of you, thank you for giving me a reason to celebrate today. Thank you for blessing my life, I love you all with all my heart. My mom would be so proud of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren just as I am so proud of all of you and what you have accomplished. (I wish you could have known each other).
AND: I finally got my "babies" when my grandchildren came along.
That was just the icing on the cake :)


I would like to say to anyone who wants children and for whatever reason has not been able to have them. Love the children God puts in your path, whether it be for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Yes, it will hurt when you lose touch with them but I wouldn't trade any of my kids or the lessons I've learned from them. I pray that I touched their lives in a way that they never forget. I pray that I raised them for however long I had them the way that God wanted and that as they grow older they remember and come to know the Lord as adults. I know the ones that are close still worship and love the Lord. I have tried to make a difference in all their lives and I believe I did, but the one thing I know for sure is that I tried to show them God's love. I know each and every one of them made a difference in MY life. So I have to repeat, love the children God puts in your path, whether they be friends children, family members, babies or grown, don't worry about how long they will be there. You will both be richer for it. Don't let the pain you feel from not bearing your own children cloud the blessings God is putting before you. If I had born children of my own, I wouldn't have been the same person I don't believe. I wouldn't have had the open heart God needed me to have when each of these "children" came into my life. I wouldn't trade "my" kids for all the world. They are all as much mine, maybe even more so than if I'd given birth to them.
God bless you all,
til next time
tawanab
P.S. I started this on Mother's Day but due to some internet problems did not get to publish it that day.

Real Treasure

Store up your treasures in Heaven. Matthew 6:19-21, 19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: 20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: 21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

How many of us have "stuff" we have hung on to for years that has no value? In the process of moving, I have discovered things I didn't even realize I still had. Trying to pack I've been looking at everything with a more critical eye. Even pictures! I have pictures of friends, friend's children, friend's grandchildren. I know who they are or who they are supposed to be by looking, but I never got around to putting names on them. Then one day while packing I asked my daughter, "do you know who this is?" She said, "no, is it family?" I said, "no, it's a friend's grandbaby". She just looked and nodded and asked whose. I told her and she vaguely remembered the friend. I said, "if I were to die tomorrow and you were having to go through my things would you care who this is?" She looked at me of course like I was asking her a trick question, lol. I said, "no, seriously, would you?" She said, "well no, not really". I said, "exactly, this picture was taken 10 years ago, the last time I saw this friend was 9 years ago, this little girl is 11 now and doesn't even know me". This particular friend is probably one I will never see again this side of Heaven, so why do I keep it? The same reason I've kept all this other "stuff" over the years. It meant or means something to me. However, what good are they, or the thousands of other things I've stored up when Jesus calls me home? These "things" aren't my real treasure. The old adage, you can't take it with you comes to my mind.

I think to myself, at the very least I can mark things so that whomever is unlucky enough to have to sort through my things can do it easily and not toss out something that might really be important. Pictures need to have names and even descriptions, especially if they won't mean anything to anyone else without me around. Family pictures need to be labeled for the ancestry buff in the family (present or future). Other pictures and memorabilia needs to be marked so that it can easily be gotten rid of or kept. Then I remember, this isn't the real treasure.

I've found items that really are antiques and I've found items I "thought" might be antiques. My clothes are (were) arranged in sizes, five of them!!!! I won't say which one I'm in now but I will say that stepping into my closet is like watching Cinderella, it's pure fantasy, lol. Meaning, I will never see that size again without getting deathly ill and it's not worth that! What I consider treasure, my children consider trash. A couple of them have begged me to let them clean house for me. That doesn't mean my house is literally dirty just that they want to go through all my "important" stuff and clean it out. My middle daughter and I are big fans of the reality show "Clean House". She looks around my house and says, "you should let me do yours". Not!!! I will admit I'm a packrat! I am sifting through it with a more critical eye with this move that is looming ahead, but there are still some things they will just have to deal with. Then I remember, this isn't the real treasure. With that thought I've gone back through and cleaned out a little more.

That picture of the baby I mentioned above reminds me of happy memories with her grandmother. Sometimes I don't think about her for months and I see that picture and it brings her to mind. I see a drawing I kept that one of my grandbabies did and my heart swells with love, I remember them at that age and wonder where the years have gone. I see the little wishing well on my shelf and think of my grandmother. Then I look up and see an old avon bottle shaped like a peacock with a gold head for the cap and I think of my own mom. I can see her in my mind's eye as clearly as if she is standing with me. I hear her laughter, I remember the talks we had. I remember hearing her pray, I remember her dragging me to church when I was a little girl, I remember her love. I see my dad's old cowboy (farmer's) hat and I hear his laughter, I remember the time he scared me spitless with a fake skeleton hand, I remember hearing him way up in the pasture raising his voice in praise and prayer to the Lord, and I remember holding his hand as he stepped from this life into the next to be with our Lord and Savior. All of these memories and more flood in when I look at this "stuff". How can I get rid of it? I'm sitting on a goldmine. A goldmine and a lifetime of memories. Then God reminds me, this isn't the real treasure.

When I'm gone, though I've told them stories, this "stuff" won't mean the same to my children and to them it will be trash. I hope that they have their own treasures (memories) of their mom and how much I loved each and every one of them to get them through til we meet again. Our memories sometimes need a little nudge, I like to think that's what this "stuff" is, a little nudge, not treasure. Meanwhile, I'll continue to go through my house keep cutting down on some of the things I've kept. We are having a yard sale and some of it will become someone else's "stuff". My closet has been reduced to about 3 boxes. I've actually thrown away duplicate pictures, contacts (lenses) from 5 years ago, some eye glasses from many years ago, clothes that really aren't fit to wear much less sell, I think I'm doing pretty good, however, maybe I'll just keep that little blurry picture of my grandson, even though you can't really see who it is, I know, and I remember him running and laughing loudly when I snapped the picture (which is why its blurry). Even that isn't the real treasure!

Earthly treasures? Not the kind of treasures made from gold or silver. These are little mementos of my treasures here on earth that God has blessed me with - my family and friends. My real treasure is stored in Heaven. My heart is with God first and then this wonderful amazing family He has given me. I am rich beyond measure. I can rid myself of lots of this "stuff". These really aren't my real treasures.

What will really matter when Jesus calls me home? My real treasures will be walking with Him and seeing my loved ones already there. Then someday seeing my husband, children, grandchildren, friends and family coming through the gates when it's their time. I may have these little treasures now but I know where the real treasure is, where my heart is. Jesus said in John 14:2-3, 2 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

Where is your "real treasure" stored up?

God bless,
tawanab

Garbage In, Garbage Out

All my life I've heard the expression, "Garbage in, garbage out". My mom said it, one of my pastor's from years gone by said it. It really wasn't until I got into my 30's that realization finally started dawning on me, what that meant. Then when God brought children into my life I really began to realize what it meant.
Merriam-Webster describes garbage as:

1 a: food waste b: discarded or useless material
2 a: trash 1b b: inaccurate or useless data
With that in mind, I started paying more attention not only to my children but to myself. Our bodies and our minds are easily altered, by food, t.v., radio, in general, the world. What alters our minds and bodies can and will eventually alter our souls. Hence, garbage in, garbage out.

I will be the first to admit that I love junk food, especially Blue bell ice cream
and mint three musketeers bars, yummy. However, I don't make those my everyday meals but even at that I can see how they affect my body, that's why they are special treats and not everyday meals, no matter how much I love them. I remember a time though when I could make a big bowl of Blue Bell my entire meal :) If I let myself, I could probably eat the whole box in one sitting!!

However, believe it or not I didn't start this blog to talk about junk food. Although it sounds really good right now lol. Garbage in, garbage out is about what we "feed" our minds and the minds of our children. There is a lot of controversy about whether violent video games, head banging music and violent movies and cartoons are bad for children. Unbelievably, many parents will argue that these things don't affect their children. (Almost all (98%) of pediatricians believe that violent media have a negative effect on children.) Just like defining gravity as what goes up must come down, garbage in, garbage out. What we take in through our eyes and ears stays in the brain and affects who we are or who we present ourselves to be every bit as much as our heredity and environment. Children who are constantly subjected to violence whether it is pretend or real will be affected by that violence. The same holds true for adults. With children it can become the difference between fantasy and reality, with adults it is an acceptance and complacency. Each movie, each game gets more violent and more bloody and we see so much of it that it doesn't seem to bother us as much after a while. How do you think it is for kids who grow up seeing it? Even if it is "only on t.v." or "only a game". They may not show aggressive tendencies but studies show it does change their behavior. They become desensitized to the violence. They become less helpful, less caring. Many kids who already show aggressive tendencies tend to get worse. The health recommendations for parents is not only to choose wisely what they allow their children to watch and what video games they play but also to limit their amount of time in front of the computer, video player and t.v. There are even significant physical health problems that can arise from too much use of game controllers, affecting the eyes, the hands and wrists, weight gain from inactivity etc.

However, I've strayed from my original intent. Garbage in, garbage out. What is taken into your child's mind (or an adult's) will come out. If anyone is constantly exposed to violence, immoral behavior, foul language, etc that will stick in their minds and that will be brought forth in their speech and actions. The Bible says to train up a child in the way they should go. You only have a short time in a child's life to teach them right from wrong. You only have a short time to help them mold into a healthy, well adjusted person. Use that time wisely. Teach them to love the Lord, teach them right from wrong, teach them the 10 commandments. Use your time to teach them. They will learn all about violence soon enough without the games and the movies. They will be happier, more well adjusted and more willing to help others. They will show more respect not only to you but to others and they will pass this "parenting" on to their own children. Don't let video games, violent movies and cartoons, violent foul mouthed music raise your children. Take a stand as a parent and say NO MORE garbage in, garbage out.

Now to clarify, I am not saying all video games are bad and I'm not saying watching television is bad. I'm saying choose wisely what you let your children watch and play. There are tons of games, movies etc that can actually be good learning materials for children. One of the benefits is teaching hand/eye coordination, patience, etc.


However, nothing can replace family time and going out and playing outside in the fresh air and sunshine.

Early Morning Talk With God

Early in the morning before the sun comes up
I sit out on my front porch, hot coffee in my cup,
I visit with the Lord and ask Him to make me strong,
I ask Him to help me so that I will do no wrong.

I ask for His forgiveness, for things I might have done,
I thank Him for His love for me and the giving of His Son,
I thank Him for forgiveness and for His love once again,
For giving me a second chance and wiping out my sin.

I thank Him for my family and blessings on each one,
to protect them and to draw them so they too can be won,
and share a home in Heaven as family up there,
to let them know each day all their burdens He will bare.

I thank Him for the many friends He's brought into my life,
and ask Him to give them each a day with no worry and no strife.
And then before our talk is done there's one more thing I ask,
That He will grant me one more day in His light and love to bask.
One more day that He can let His light shine through me,
So when I leave this world below I join Him in Eternity.

Just Five More Minutes

I received this email and it hit home with me so I thought I would share it with everyone. Sometimes life gets so busy our priorities get all screwed up. Work, housework, homework, many things become priorities while the real priorities, our loved ones, take a back seat.

I have a little granddaughter that this story makes me think of. She loves to jump on the bed while you hold her hands or take "giggy back" rides or run circles through the house (she just turned 4). When you tell her that's enough, the first thing she says is "just one more time". Thanks to her pre-school she now can count and her responses have started being "just 2 more times, or just 3 more times". When I think how little time I have with her and how soon she will be grown, what does it hurt for that 5 minutes to let her do something that brings a smile to her face, "just one more time or just two more times".

When you work and there just aren't enough hours in the day do you begrudge your loved ones that extra five minutes? What is five minutes out of a lifetime? Is there someone you would give almost anything to have just five more minutes with? That's where my thoughts go. I never ever again want to regret not stopping for anyone I love for just five more minutes or just one more time. What I want my grandchildren to remember is meemaw stopped what she was doing for us. We were her priority. What I want my husband and kids to remember is, "she, stopped what she was doing for us". "We were her priority".

A gentleman I know wrote a christian song called "In the dash" The song talked about living your life in the dash, the time between the time you were born and the time you die. What do you want to be remembered for in the dash? What do you want to look back on your life and see? A life to celebrate and be remembered or days and days of blurs from working to much, living to hard and not taking time to "stop and smell the roses", not taking time to put the people in your life first and the duties of your life second. Each breath we take is a blessing because we aren't promised the next one. Each person in your life is a blessing because there is no guarantee how long you will have them. You can't always be with those you love but you can let them know you think of them. Take five minutes, give them a call. Take five minutes drop them a note. Take five more minutes to play with your children or grandchildren. Take five more minutes to talk to your spouse.

Take five more minutes to say a prayer before you start your day. Spend an extra five minutes a day with your Heavenly Father. You are always on His mind. You will be richer and your life more blessed.

Five More Minutes

While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground. "That's my son over there," she said, pointing to a little boy in a red sweater who was gliding down the slide. "He's a fine looking boy" the man said. "That's my daughter on the bike in the white dress."

Then, looking at his watch, he called to his daughter. "What do you say we go, Melissa?" Melissa pleaded, "Just five more minutes, Dad. Please? Just five more minutes."

The man nodded and Melissa continued to ride her bike to her heart's content. Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his daughter. "Time to go now?" Again Melissa pleaded, "Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes."

The man smiled and said, "OK."

"My, you certainly are a patient father," the woman responded. The man smiled and then said, "Her older brother Tommy was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with Tommy and now I'd give anything for just five more minutes with him. I've vowed not to make the same mistake with Melissa. She thinks she has five more minutes to ride her bike. The truth is, I get Five more minutes to watch her play."

Life is all about making priorities, what are your priorities?